Parental reading not recommended

As I write this post, I am acutely aware that parents, uncles and aunts may stumble upon this. I warn you, read at your own risk. This is a highly risqué post so if you want your image of me to stay the same *halo*, stop reading! but hey, I’m not known for hiding much on this blog of mine!

So last night was lined up to be a very ordinary night. Panu and I headed to Brick Lane for some curry, after which we met up with two friends, one of whom was in town from Dubai recording his latest album. If you saw me, you would have known what a tame night I was expecting – I was wearing a t-shirt (which I’d had on all day), jeans, flat boots and next to no makeup.

We all headed to E&O at Ladbroke Grove, where we met up with two very interesting ladies – Mich, publicist for Jude Law and Liam Neeson (no joke), and TV producer Debbie. My first thought was that they would completely and utterly snob underdressed and very ordinary little me, but to my surprise they were incredibly good fun and drinks were on the flow. After several chambords, ‘air grinding’ (don't ask) and triple shots of sambuca (I’m not joking, I was seeing black spots after that, but thankfully it passed without me creating a mess on myself), we were well on the way to a big night.

When the bar closed at I don’t even know what time, Mich suggested we head to a club called Secrets, down by Euston. I was pretty primed to head anywhere, so we hopped in a black cab and headed off. Upon arriving at Secrets, we realised that Mich’s “favourite club in London” is actually a high class gentlemans club. Oh! Ok. Well, we were all ready and raring to go, so why not? Cover charge paid and a £120 bottle of Moet (what the? Did they add 80% service on that?!) purchased, we were in for a good time.

I personally haven’t been in a strip club since we crashed a trashy place in Perth about 8 years ago - and that was only cos it was free entry for girls! So this was new territory, and being there with Panu was definitely interesting. We drank, we watched, we mingled with the girls, and before you knew it, the guys had me walking around the club looking for a girl that I would like. Huh! Interesting! Well, Debbie had just paid £20 for a full frontal lap dance, so I thought, hey why the hell not.

If parents or parental figures are still reading this, I would strongly suggest you stop now.

I picked my girl (blonde Ukrainian, uber hot), and Panu kindly paid for me to have my very first lap dance ever. It was insane! Absolutely not as scary and dirty as you would think, but you sure do get the right bits in your face. My 5 minutes passed far too quickly, and I was now lap dance devirginised. High five!

If you’re wondering if Panu had a lap dance too? Absolutely! I totally encouraged it and in fact, they had a 2-for-1 special at again not sure what time, but he had two girls, not just one… what a bargain! *Hehe*

In all seriousness, if anyone’s wondering why I am ok with this behaviour – well those who know me know that I am liberal enough to accept these things and have no issue with guys doing this on a night out. If it became a regular event, that would be a problem. And yes, I did feel a twinge of jealousy when he had two naked girls on him, but it passed because people, we were in a strip club, after he passed his £20 to them, they didn’t look his way one more time all night.

Besides, it got us both worked up and at 4am we headed home and… well… let’s just say I picked up some moves at Secrets *grin*