london

it's been 5 days in London and i'm still undecided on what I really feel about this place. Firstly, it is as miserable as everyone says it is, oooh yes, that's for sure. It's cold and generally damp, and even on sunny days, it's still not sunshine as we Aussies know it, and the windchill factor is still about negative one billion degrees!

ok, ok, so I'm massively exaggerating. I have to say that out of 5 full days, I've enjoyed one day... maybe that's cos I got to go to Zara and grab some bargain buys in the last days of their sale! Hehe.. but in all honesty, I haven't made up my mind about London just yet. And I dont think I will until we have our own place to live... right now there are too many grievances to deal with and maybe, just maybe, what I need is to vent!

i hate...

~ walking long distances on cobbled streets to get to the tube
~ living out of a suitcase
~ feeling cold, even when i'm so layered i'd pass a cabbage patch kid!
~ paying in pounds... must earn some for myself!
~ living in someone else's living room

that felt good. perhaps I should conteract with some positives.

i love...

~ .
~ my ear muffs!

oh.

so maybe give me a few more days.. or weeks rather. Once we have our own place and I'm spread out and comfortable, i think my mood will lighten. So far my happiest moment has been indulging my sweet tooth in a Harrod's creme brulee. My God, divine!

goodbye sydney

it's 2.52pm and here i sit blochy and puffy eyed. you guessed it, this ice queen has been crying. today i woke up at 9am ready and rearing to pack for our big adventure. but as i packed my life into 2 suitcases, the angst and nostalgia got the better of me and tears welled up.

i bawled.

weird, i know.

i'm going to miss sydney. i dont think i'm quite ready for my time here to be over. i love the place and i love my friends too much. i realise though that i have to suck it up and realign my thoughts otherwise this London thing is already overshadowed by negativity.

so chin up for me. puffy eyed or not, i can't turn back now. London lies ahead of me, cramped and gloomy, but i know that the vastness of Europe will leave me open-eyed with wonder.

my friends in Sydney, i love you all many many x

panu...

it will officially be 14 months tomorrow. The last year has been an incredible, eye-opening experience for me. It’s been a calm, peaceful, beautiful year and I feel more grounded and secure than I ever have. Rumour has it that part of this is because with age comes maturity, but hey, those are just rumours! I’d like to think it’s because Panu has the incredible power to bring peace to my life, which before this… while it has always been fun, it was also tumultuous, anxious and unsettled.

He protects me and encourages me with just the right balance. He’ll open doors for me, but he’ll then send me out to fight my own battles. He acknowledges I’m a lady and I need him, but he also supports my independence and knows I can do it on my own.

There are so many things I value about him, but mostly, and one I’ll share, is probably the soppiest… so grab hold of the bucket, I can hear you gag already!

He has the ability to just hold me when I need him to. I’m particularly impressed when it’s the lead up to that time of the month and I’m so fragile I would burst into tears if someone so much as asked me to pass the salt. I sniffle and cry and sometimes sob and all he does is holds me. Occasionally he’ll ask ‘what’s wrong, baby?’ and when I give the frustratingly non-committal ‘I don’t know’ or even worse ‘nothing’, he doesn’t get frustrated with me, but just holds me tighter, which inevitably makes me cry even more. This, I’ve decided, is a fine art many male persons still need to master.

Gallantry is not about saving the girl. It’s about being there for her.

So it’s been 14 months, only 14 months i know. But I’m happy and so… very relaxed. I’m hoping that we have some great times ahead. Moving overseas together will probably put a massive amount of pressure on me and us, but what doesn’t break you makes you stronger, right?

And you know what my mum said? “don’t dump him, ok? We like him” ~ hehe… how cute is that?

bringin' it back to personal

as some of you may have noticed, my blog in 2006 was way personal. we talked about my personal thoughts, my very personal feelings, we talked about boys (man did we talk about boys), we talked about illicit substances, and i'm pretty sure we almost talked about blow jobs but that was a completely innocent post, you dirty dirty people!

in 2007, i settled into a lovely relationship and so out went the discussions on the boys and the lovely illicit substances that helped speckle my '06 with such colourful memories. my blog became somewhat dull. yes, i can definitely handle the truth.

so people, my pledge for 2008 is to bring back the dirty, gritty stories that i reckon you want to read (secretly, anyway!). i'm gonna jump in the deep end and give truthful updates on everything in my life. Upcoming titles? 'Panu - 14 months on' and one I'm sure you all want to read about.. 'Boonga, the update'.

stay tuned!

and for those of you who don't know, I'll be starting a G-rated parent-friendly blog which documents our travels throughout Europe, aptly named Footprints in Europe. Focus? Places we been, things we ate. Easy! Check it *wink*

bye bezz!

after 10 full years of faithful, reliable and always fun service, it's now time to say goodbye to my car. nicknamed Ribena Berry (aka Bezz), obviously due to his purple tinge and rotund figure, Bezz has been with me since '98 ~ that fateful day when i somehow managed to haul my piece of shite Corolla into the Proton dealership and snag me this gorgeous little car.

Bezz has personality. While some have insisted that inanimate objects are generally referred to as female, Bezz has always been a guy. Albeit a gay man. He's gay and proud. Purple and fabulous, Bezz works it when he can, and pervs on all the hotted up man cars that drive past, while his owner pervs at the hot men inside. See, we had it all worked out, Bezz and I.

So i'm going to miss my dear friend. We travelled together from Perth to Sydney and we have so many memories. as far as inanimate objects go, nothing has ever been such a good and caring friend to me!

note: i realise there's a good chance that after reading the above post, most people are going to think i'm a little nuts. a car's just a car, right?

the holidays...

Christmas and New Years this year can best be described as interesting. They were quite good, but somehow I felt unsettled throughout the entire period, neither here nor there. I didn't quite feel the season or the celebration, and somehow muddled through the week.

Moving house

The weekend before Christmas was spent moving out to Panu's parents place. That in itself was a painful task and now we live in North Rocks, which is next to Parramatta. Me, urbanite extraordinaire, I can't handle the drive into the city. It's 30 mins without traffic, so imagine when peak hour hits again next week.

The actual living with the parents has been pretty painless ~ they are driving Panu insane though, but I guess they're his parents afterall. What I don't like? They don't have a dryer! Oh. My. God. what a princess! *heHe*

Christmas

Traditionally European, we celebrated on Christmas eve at the Nevalainen household. I had to dash to the city for last minute pressies and managed to get back just in time for the festivities & food. We ate so much that I suffered massive indigestion that night ~ I kid you not, couldn't sleep a minute, and I'm guessing that me having the crankies on Christmas Day probably kicked off my average holiday season!





























Christmas was also shared with my other pseudo families in Sydney ~ Babs & family, Ian & Stef, as well as the Segura's. Food food and more food. No over eating or indigestion - this pussycat does learn from her mistakes!































Pressies

Receiving presents is always fun but not as much as giving, and definitely not as fun as wrapping! I think I've discovered my calling in life. How scary!

I got many many gorgeous and useful gifts ~ thank you muchly to everyone! There was some Napoleon makeup, Borders gift voucher, lots of Lonely Planet stuff, a Moleskine diary, gorgeous jewellery, Oroton goodies and other beautiful things.

Panu bought me (amongst other very practical gifts) a stunning Georg Jensen necklace & pendant ~ absolutely perfect in its simplicity.

... and last but certainly not least, I got me a new toy ~ the Sony Cybershot DSC-T20 in white! Love it!


New Year's

ahh... New Year's. I'm in two minds about New Year's.

Dinner at I'm Angus was fabulous. Divine. Four courses of luscious seafood, steak and dessert, brilliant company and right on the water in Darling Harbour. Thanks Mel for organising the feast, it was excellent!






























After dinner we met up with some others at Loft. The Loft was an interesting experience. While it was great that Babs, Mags and others were there, did we really just pay $80 for what feels like a normal Friday night? The crowd was average, drinks were average and the DJ was well below average. I had a few drinks and attempted to get drunk enough to enjoy Geri Halliwell on the dance floor but that's a big ask.

Meanwhile, the loves of my life ~ the Stanton Warriors ~ were playing a few doors down at Chinese Laundry. I knew wholeheartedly that's where I should have been, but commitments were made and that was that.

I think we did make the best of a "meh" situation though. We drank, we danced, we went home around 3.30am.











I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and a blast of a New Year. I know my 2008 is going to be incredible and I want yours to be too!

Stanton Warriors, I'm coming to your town in 23 days!