hypotheticals
Some hypothetical situations my friends, boyfriend, colleagues and I have been discussing and debating. Not sure why these are such hot issues right now but it seems to be happening to a lot of people around us. Anyway, we've just been throwing around our thoughts on what is correct or ethical, or what borders on being unloyal to a friend or partner. I don't have any answers - just lots of thoughts!
Scenario one - can we split our friendship 50/50?
Regardless of who you met first, or how you met, suppose that a couple who you are equally close to breaks up. Can you split your friendship 50/50? Or do you (a) stay friends with the one you met first? Or (b) stay friends with the one who you have been closer to lately? Although it may seem easy to remain impartial, it is often hard and subconsciously you'll lean towards one person. I'd tend to pick option (a).. but that's me.
Scenario two - can your best friend really choose their own friends?
Ok.. you and your best friend are well, best friends! You like the same things, music, movies, clothes, guys (? hope not!).. so what happens if you one day have a major fall out with some third party.. you become enemies... and your best friend decides to befriend this third party? Are they a "traitor"? Do you (a) say to yourself it's ok, your best friend can choose who they want to be friends with? Or (b) expect your best friend to respect that you and third party are enemies and just "don't go there"? I lean towards (b).... but again, just me. I see that as respect - you don't have to tell them, they ought to know.
Scenario three - is blood really thicker than water?
Say your best friend (who you are super tight with) dates your cousin (who you aren't super close to, but is a nice person). Your best friend cheats on your cousin but it was a once off - won't do it again (well, nothing in life is a guarantee but you have their word). Do you (a) tell your blood? Or (b) stick by your water? I.... am undecided.
Scenario four - do you have to tell your partner everything?
You've discovered you have an admirer (yes, you are still wanted). The admirer makes their interest known, but isn't a homewrecker. Do you (a) tell your partner even though there is "nothing to tell"? Or (b) don't say a thing because there is "nothing to tell"? I'm undecided on this too but probably (a)....
posted by catty @ 7:24 AM
1 Comments:
Scenario 1: I'd split my friendship 50/50. If we are equally close to both parties, why are we condemned to take sides? Can't we be there for both of them? As long as you are not caught up or swayed by the emotion of it, surely most of us can help both parties get through it.
Scenario 2: I'd choose (a) - say to yourself it's ok, your best friend can choose who they want to be friends with? It hurts but if they really were your best friend, why would you burden them with your faling outs???
Scenario 3: (b) Stick by your water. People make mistakes in life and I think everyone deserves a second chance - however in the case that they give you their word and the cheating continues, I would re-evaluate. I would then consider it an abuse of trust and would call for a re-evaluation, not just re-evaluating whether or not you should tell your cousin but also to question whether your best friend really is your best friend.
Scenario 4: Difficult one. I am undecided. Too many variables: are they friends, do you have reciprocated feelings, what are the impacts of disclosing this information???
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